Saturday, 4 January 2014
Part 5 - Me n my bonce
So the world is at war, there are only so many nebulisers to go round how will we all survive? Luckily I had really clever people on my spaceship that could make them up, and smuggle some in from the spaceship next door! Wow brave people as if you go outside your sure to die within 24 hours! Best order me some chicken I thought! KFC ordered and they deliver (and yes dad they do do chicken too, sorry private joke!) so the delivery driver arrives I paid him but was unable to eat so gave my bucket of wings to the nurses! (Cor just how strong are these drugs? I'm sure people pay good money for this god knows why!) So we were waiting for the raffle of the day to be drawn, I didn't win again so no operation for me today, instead a photo shoot with a football shirt, they better give me the Chelsea one I thought! They gave me my injections for the photo shoot, which also made me invincible I would now live forever and the world was mine! Mwah ha ha ha! (That is my evil laugh by the way!)
As always mum and dad came as they did everyday! Today was no normal visit we was on a roller coaster with people dressed as police men and women but the ride was stuck and I had just been through the car wash part and it had sprayed my eyes with acid! Ouch! At the end of the roller coaster was a lift I felt like I was living a dream on the set of fun house (even had Pat Sharps mullet kinda going on!) but living the dream in a bed that wouldn't fit in the lift! Oh no what would I do! My oxygen was running out and I needed to be back upstairs, why is no one helping me! They can walk, just use the stairs! Well I must have fell asleep or the lift worked as I was alright the next day, apart from the brain drain and tracheostomy of course oh and obviously still bed bound!
So they were all more hallucinations which I have laughed and cried about but some I have not mentioned before now, one that wasn't a hallucination is a very poorly person in a bay next to me. It was like a scene from Indiana Jones with all the family coming to see him and a witch doctor visiting too! Seriously she must have been 2 years younger than god, proper old! Complete with shaky stick thing too, it reminded me of some witch doctor from a cartoon but can't remember which one! All chanting getting louder and louder, something about go to the light is all I remember them chanting, it was all very scary and fortunately the sister of the ward asked them to quieten down as not only scaring me but others too!
I was moved away from the nurses desk now in bay 16 but still in the surgical critical care unit, I must be getting better I thought! Was petrified though what if something happened to me or I needed something I still could not speak and communicating with blinks for yes and no's and having people point at letters on a sheet of paper to spell out what I wanted - very frustrating! My mum thought one time I spelt tosser! I'm sure I didn't but hey I was off my face so who knows what I was thinking!!!! The speech therapist brought me round all I can describe as a speak and spell, which the idea was great but I couldn't move so just frustrated me more than to try and mouth things out! Then a big smile, my physio's delivered a wheelchair, yes it looked a little Stephen Hawkins style but it was mine and they thought I was well enough to sit out in a chair let alone sit up! So 3 physios came to my bed, right Danielle today you are going to sit up! Wowsers how exciting I thought! But bloody hell who thought sitting up would be so hard! All I could manage was to sit on the edge of the bed with the help of the physios practically pulling me into position! Wow today I was so proud of myself but also worried, was this it for me would I ever be able to sit/walk again by myself? I can't even sit on the edge of my bed myself let alone get in a chair! I wish I was back on my spaceship!!!!
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