Part 26 - Me n my bonce

I had already missed birthdays, Father's Day, a family holiday, nights out, nights in, BBQ's, a trip to Vegas and a retirement doo! There was no way I was missing my little cousins wedding (I say little, although he's about a foot taller than me!) I had already spoken to the sister previously at hospital to get released for the day so when I was at rehab they knew about it too! My giant doctor had agreed my home leave for this too! Woop woop! It meant working harder to ensure I was strong enough and had enough stamina but I didn't care I was going! So now I needed an outfit! All I had worn for 4 months was hospital gowns, pyjamas and track suits! I had no idea even what size I was! Fortunately I have a wardrobe spanning about 6 dress sizes so had a variety to chose from! One of my diamonds was getting me my tights! I still had the issue of cropped hair on 1 side of my bonce! Fortunately at weddings fascinatas are acceptable, plus I had a nice big pink and black one already! I already had pretty flats as I hadn't been able to wear heels for quite some time! Pretty much sorted then!
My physio's at rehab were obviously aware of the upcoming nuptials I was going to in Folkestone so we practised standing for longer periods and walking holding onto hands for balance and building up my stamina. On a particular day whilst standing within the parallel bars my physio's tasked me with standing and waving to ensure the other movement didn't throw me completely! I was managing to do this alternating my hands when another guy from the rehab centre peered behind a post, waved back at me and in his amazing distinctive voice said "hello my friend" well good job I had the bars to hold onto as it really made me laugh! A comedy gold moment which I suppose is more funny if you were there or knew his voice!
I asked for extra sessions in the gym whenever I had free periods, I joint activity groups and even the wii group. I was so determined to get out and to be at the wedding! One day at wii group (not band camp for any American Pie fans!) we were playing wii with the physio supervising, getting on and off the wii board using crutches now I was showing off! But that is where it ended as I came last I think for all wii board balance games! Mind you the result was we were all unbalanced so I wasn't miles behind! Then came the bowling! I had always managed to have a good technique for this, I took my turn.... STRIKE! Woo hoo! Passed the wii mote and we all took our turns! It wasn't until about the 3rd round of turns I realised and said something! "Oh look we are all left handed!" As soon as the words left my lips I realised something! Their right arms were in slings!!! The guys I had been playing with were all stroke victims!!! It was awful I wanted the ground to swallow me! I apologised profusely whilst blushing! Thankfully the group was nearly finished anyway and I returned to my bay.
So not only had I managed to wangle leave for the wedding, I was allowed out for 2 whole nights! I could leave on Friday afternoon and my curfew was not until 6pm Sunday! Wow the freedom! First thing I got mum to do was call and book me a waxing appointment! My first stop from rehab was to be de-fuzzed! No more wuki Dan! Even if I was in there over an hour it was the best hour I had endured over the previous 4 months!

Finally some pictures!

Ok so here's the first of some pictures...

My tracheostomy....

The white part was the bit in my neck, inside was another tube well that just really collected gunk! The smaller tube was fitted to the end of the tracheostomy and was called a Swedish nose! Not sure why I'm sure Swedish people do not have odd shaped noses!!! I must add this is not the actual one, this was one prepared to go in if things went belly up when finally taking it out!

The first picture of my neck belly button! Sorry if you are squeamish, getting a bit fed up of wearing scarves now though!

Apparently Catherine Zeta Jones also had a trackie! I have never noticed her neck dimple but sure as hell look out for it when I see her on tv or in pictures!

Part 25 - Me n my bonce

Great timing the physiotherapist I was assigned to was off on his holidays - how very dare he! But in his place I was give another lady who I must say was fab and we really had a good laugh as I would just tell her as it is! I was also assigned an occupational therapist for day to day task practice to resume my 'normal' routine. I was also given a speech therapist slot but fortunately (maybe not for others) by now my voice had returned to normal as well as a psychologist appointment! Really was that necessary or am I now completely bonkers? Apparently this was a routine appointment that everyone had and she was very impressed with how I had been and was continuing to deal with everything going on! So was no longer needed to attend 1-2-1 sessions with her. It was strange saying I'm going to the gym for a session! No not a pumping iron one like you expect, neuro rehab gym had parallel bars, plinths (bed type things) running machine a couple of exercise bikes and what looked like a set of stocks which was actually a standing frame! We had 1 porter for the unit who was lovely and always collected you with a smile in the wheelchair and comment on how well I was transferring to it! He would sit and wait with me in the gym awaiting Physio's to arrive. One of my first sessions was on the plinth with my replacement Physio and an assistant, I was sitting on the plinth using a gym ball to stretch when they thought lets see if I could kneel! OMG I could just about sit! So I laid down, struggled rolling over (still trying to keep my neck still as I now had a big hole in it!) then attempted the push up on to my knees! Sounds simple really! Well I had absolutely no strength (and I mean none, zilch, nada!!) both the physio and assistant had to help me and pull the top part of the plinth up so I could push on it! I think they then realised (as well as me) just how pathetic my strength was! How could I not kneel?! Something so easy? I'm never going to be 'normal' again and be able to get out of here! It was quite upsetting as when you don't try something but your mind is fine you think, yeah that's not a problem I can do that! Oh how different it is from thinking it to doing it!! So the belly button on my neck comment which your probably thinking what the? I had now no plaster on my tracheostomy and still hadn't looked at it myself when the physio's wanted to check it out to see how it was healing, I asked what it looked like and the assistant quite simply replied... It's like a belly button but on your neck! Wow I really have to check this out now so when I got back to my bed I went to the toilet to inspect my neck. Sure enough if looked like a belly button! Or as I later referred to it as 'me hole' but had to be careful where and how I used this term for obvious reasons!